> > From: CJ Ferrando
> > Subject: Please help Becky.
> > To: ewalker1066@yahoo.com
> > Cc: allisonewalker@gmail.com
> > Date: Wednesday, December 2, 2015, > 12:59 PM
> > Dear Ed,
> > After careful consideration, I have decided to write to you about a situation you are apparently unaware of.
Please read the entire passages from a blog by a respected psychologist.
The links for these blogs are here. It's essential that you read them in order to get the full understanding of what our family is currently dealing with.

> > http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/narcissistic-siblings-cause-psychological-and-financial-family-ruptures/

> > http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com/narcissistic-siblings-steal-your-psychological-emotional-and-financial-inheritance/

I hope that you will understand this email expresses a general concern for the health and welfare of my youngest sister, your wife. I am genuinely concerned that Becky has assumed the role of the weaker sibling expressed in this blog posting. I can no longer talk to her about any matter concerning my sister Cecilia's mental state, without her putting up her back and attacking me, and as a result, we cannot rationally discuss the proper needs and care of our mother. As her husband and a respected physician, I ask you to please intervene to protect the mental health of my sister Becky, your wife. If after looking at the attached images and the description I am providing of the images, you still feel that Becky is fully justified in unconditionally supporting Cecilia's narcissistic personality disorder behavior regarding my mother's house and the care of my mother, for the sake of your wife, do something about her stress related autoimmune (chrons disease and ulcerative colitis), because even if I am wrong, I am still of the belief that the stress of dealing with Cecilia's irrational behavior, is a major contributing factor to Becky's illnesses. Even if you reject everything I have said, at least for the sake of my sister, I am sure that you have professional association with psychiatrists and psychologists and I implore you to consult with them before dismissing everything out of hand. This is not a matter of a "typical dysfunctional family" as Becky likes to say. This situation demonstrates a serious pathology which has to be addressed.

The NPD of my sister Cecilia has already destroyed her relationship with her husband and her children and is beginning to threaten the rest of the extended family.
I am sure that if your mother were still alive, you would not approve her being cared for by a sibling of yours who demonstrated behaviors that could potentially threaten the health and welfare, both mental and physical, of your mother.

I hope you take this email in the spirit in which it is intended, (genuine concern for the health of my sister) and if you do not, I hope you are prepared to deal with someone who is headed for a total mental and physical collapse.

Please do what is right for my sister and your wife. I'm counting on you as a professional to investigate for yourself the information I am providing.

Thank you for your consideration. My best to you and your family.

Sincerely, your brother in-law,

Description of attached images.

> > Chain1 and chain2 are the installation by Cecilia of a ratcheting chain-fall and it's supporting pipe structure.
Apparently my sister intends or intended to lift my mother on and off the toilet using this contraption, rather than hire a healthcare aide. Would you allow your mother to be lifted by such a contraption? Apparently your wife believes that it's ok for Cecilia to do this, rather than hire a healthcare aide.

> > Invacare1 shows a device you should be familiar with.
I guess my sister Cecilia intended to use this device to lift my frail, 87 yr old mother in and out of bed. I saw no evidence of any proper harnesses, nor is Cecilia properly trained to safely install a harness to lift a frail, 87 yr old woman. Not only that, but my mother's bed is on the floor, with no space beneath it to insert the legs of this device. Does your wife believe that this is acceptable and safe care for my mother? Or is she is irrationally supporting Cecilia's damaging personality disorder.

> > Jesus.jpg shows the bathroom wall in my mother's house.
Would a rational and capable 59 yr old caregiver paint, in large letters on the walls of her 87 yr old mother's house. This may appear to be innocent in itself, but it does indicate a potentially disturbed way of thinking.

I urge you to share these images and descriptions with your psychiatric colleagues and ask them if they feel that intervention is warranted.
The above email was sent to my brother-in-law, Dr. Edward Walker of Florida and my niece Dr. Allison Walker of Long Island before I allowed my attorney to file (with the court) papers seeking a court appointed guardian for my mother.  I know for a fact that my brother-in-law received this email, as my sister Mary Beth (his wife) called me demanding to know what I had written to my brother-in law.  It appears that he was unwilling to discuss the contents of this email with his wife, and I also refused to disclose the contents to my sister.

I waited several days but never received a reply from either my brother-in-law or my niece.  After this time I gave my attorney the go-ahead to file with the court.

The following correspondence between my nieces and my wife demonstrate beyond any reasonable doubt that my wife and I maintained good relations with my sister and her children going back before my father's passing in 2008.

In this text message (above), my niece Adele (older sister of Bess)(who was living in Chicago) is thanking my wife for helping her father navigate a serious family situation.

The above image was texted to my sister from my wife.  It shows my mother resting and reading in Staten Island Hospital after she fell at her home on December 14, 2014.  My mother had already been hospitalized for 3 days and neither of my sisters had made any effort to come and visit her but instead barked orders over the phone to me and my wife from Binghamton, NY and Florida respectively.  My wife and I made arrangements for my mother to rehabilitate at Seaview Nursing Home, and only when my mother was being transferred there on the evening of December 22nd did my younger sister show up from Florida.  The older of my sisters would still not put in an appearance (from Binghamton) for another 2 days.  It should be noted that both of my sisters stayed at my mother's house for part of the time my mother was convalescing but Becky left for Florida around January 19th and Cecilia left for Binghamton around January 24th.  Both of my sisters were fully aware that my mother was to be discharged on January 26th but her release was delayed for several more days due to a heavy snowfall.

In the above texts from my sister to my wife (January 8, 2015) we had just completed a treatment and discharge plan meeting with the Seaview staff.  At that meeting my wife and I discovered that my sisters had influenced my mother not to include either me or my wife as a health care proxy (to the shock and dismay of the rehab staff) and instead listed themselves as her sole healthcare proxies even though neither of them resided any where near Staten Island.  It didn't seem to matter to my sisters that my wife and I had been the sole caretakers of my mother since my father's passing in 2008.  When we questioned my mother about this arrangement she said her daughters assured her that they would share any information they obtained with me, which never happened.

At this discharge plan meeting, the Seaview staff made it clear that my mother could not be left alone in her home but needed full time assistance to toilet and bathe herself and to assist her in getting into and out of her bed and wheelchair as well as help preparing meals and taking her medications.  However they were able to rehabilitate her to the point that she could use a walker to walk up to forty feet as long as someone was present to assist her.

When this was discussed with my sisters they outright refused to allow me and my wife to secure in home care for my mother and ordered me to move in with my mother to provide her needed care even though they knew that this was ridiculous as I was working full time (and had a serious work related back injury since the summer of 2010 which seriously affected my ability to bend and lift).  I was not eligible for retirement until the end of April 2015, at which point I became immediately eligible for social security disability benefits.

As my mother's discharge date approached, both my sisters left Staten Island and returned to Florida and Binghamton respectively.  At this point my wife and I entered my mother's house and found it ransacked (see images page).  It looked like a bomb went off.  Cabinets and drawers were left open and clothing and objects were strewn all over my mother's bed and bedroom.  The hallway was also obstructed.

I took some pictures and brought them to the social workers at Seaview and explained to them that we would need a few days to straighten up her living quarters and arrange for an in home health care aide.  They agreed that my mother could stay as a self paid patient while these arrangements were made.  Evidently my mother contacted my sisters to inform them and they told her not to believe us, that we were trying to permanently sign her into a nursing home and in addition it would be dangerous for her to have an in home aide, feeding on my mother's disorientation and fears, having been out of her familiar surroundings for over a month.

The following texts from my sister shed light on what my wife and I were dealing with during this trying time:

The above texts from my sister Cecilia (who was back in Binghamton, NY at the time) were received on the day my mother was scheduled to be discharged from Seaview.

Before we made actual hiring arrangements for my mother's health care aide we contacted our nieces:

The references to "Bess" have to do with the fact that my wife and I were aware that my niece Bess was unhappy in her present employment and we reached out to both Bess and her sister Adele to see if Bess would like to be my mother's (her grandmother's) health care aide (for which my mother would be willing to pay her since she was a registered nurse) since my sisters had terrorized my mother over the prospect of having a relative stranger as her health care aide.   This was obviously unacceptable to my sister Cecilia who apparently relied on Bess to be her source of narcissistic supply and was unwilling to allow her daughter to leave the Binghamton area.  Why my sister would bring her husband into this conversation appears to be another symptom of her
mental illness.

In spite of these vicious attacks from my sisters, and out of concern for my mother's welfare, my wife and I continued to have a helpful and cordial relationship with my sisters as shown below:

As shown in the above texts,  my wife and I were always willing to help my sisters when needed, in spite of the fact that they made it virtually impossible (for me, my wife, and my sons) to see or speak to my mother after March 18, 2015 (my mother's birthday).

The date of the above texts (from my younger sister who was in Florida) was approximately one week before my niece Bess (in an intervention initiated by her siblings) left Staten Island to stay with her sister in Chicago.  It is my understanding that Bess was near a nervous breakdown due to the incessant narcissistic abuse she was being subjected to by her mother while trying to also care for her invalid grandmother.

It appears that my sister Becky returned to Staten Island shortly after my niece's departure but only stayed until around November 15th.

Evidently all hell broke loose after Becky returned to Florida and my sister Cecilia was left alone with my mother because I received a call from my mother on November 18th (after not hearing from her for over seven months) in which my sister is heard screaming and cursing at my mother in the background. 

My wife and I went over to my mother's house the following morning (November 19th) and discovered that my mother had been abandoned by my sister and had been sitting in a soiled diaper in her wheelchair at the kitchen table all night.  Upon taking over the care of my mother we discovered that my sisters had been robbing my mother blind which included at a minimum stealing no less than $21,000.00 in cash withdrawals from her savings, checkings, and money market accounts (one of the depleted savings accounts was a joint account with me (her son) which was emptied of its entire $9,000.00 content),  another $9,000.00 withdrawal from one of her checking accounts, and a $3,000.00 withdrawal from her IRA which had been established with money from my father's $100,000.00 life insurance policy.  In addition all the EXXON stock certificates that were kept in a steel box in a kitchen cabinet were missing, in fact the whole steel box was gone.  It is my information and belief that the value of these stocks were well in excess of $100,000.00.  To add even more insult to this injury it appears my sister Becky had used her power of attorney to set my mother's Citibank credit card bills to be auto paid directly from her checking account into which she had her social security and teacher's pension directly deposited.  My sister Cecilia was using my mother's credit card to rack up $3,000.00 to $4,000.00 in charges above and beyond the normal $1,000.00 or so my mother had normally been billed per month.  That amounted to another $35 to $40,000.00 for purchases by my sister that had no relation to the care of my mother or the bills on her house over the 10 months she had supposedly been caring for my mother.

Upon discovering the above, and other abuse and endangerment  I found I had no choice but to initiate a guardianship proceeding after being advised to do so by Adult Protective Services.


Latest update: summer of 2022. I just keep finding more and more of these emails in my archives.

The above email seem to hint at a bit of antisemitism wouldn't you say ?

The above email is a thinly veiled narcissistic smear campain by my mentally ill sister. In one sentence she is praising me for taking such good care of my mother that she wants me to take her (my mom) to my house or to a hotel 3 days a week, and then in the next she is telling me how terrible my wife and I are. The simple truth is that my sisters had already stolen over $160,000.00 from my mother during the previous ten months, while she (my sister) prevented me, my wife, and my sons from visiting my mother. Funny how she claims to know all about accessibility, does she mean putting plywood on cinder blocks as a wheel chair ramp or maybe putting a chainfall in the bathroom to toilet my invalid mother ? (see the home page images)